Tomorrow will be my last official Sunday as a youth minister. I don't know where to start with my feelings or thoughts. Emotionally I feel somewhat stable, in control, and all the right things, I think. Inside I also feel very fragile. Really ready to break. So much of what is to be done is still undone. Lives that still cry out. Unfinished business. Incomplete projects. Lessons to be taught. Lessons to be learned.
Tomorrow will be less than all I want it to be. I must face that fact. I want everyone here to know Jesus, to respond to Jesus, to be changed by Jesus. That sounds either terribly selfish or self promoting, but is not intended that way.
I'm reminded of a scene from a favorite movie of mine (Monty Python and the Holy Grail). A man with a cart is roaming the medieval streets collecting the bodies, found recently dead. He cries out, "bring out your dead" and strikes his gong as he manages his cart of corpses through the street. A man emerges from a home carrying an elderly man calling to the man with the cart. The elderly man is obviously not dead, and protesting loudly, "I ain't dead, yet".
I feel like I have so much left to give. I hope to continue in my "not dead, yet" state for a long time to come.
To quote my elderly friend from the movie one more time, "I'm feeling better. I think I'll go for a walk!"
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