I Surrender All, Again

Draw a circle.

Look at it. Its a simple form to clearly notate what is “inside” and, just as poignantly, what is “outside” the sphere. No confusion, no ambiguity, crystal clear clarity in a world of relativity.

If we put something in the circle, we know it isn’t outside the circle and vis-a-versa. How beautifully simple.

In that circle begin to write all the things you need, want and desire for life. Write what you possess, and also what possesses you. Its in your circle.

So go ahead, start to work. But this heart-searching endeavor will take some time. I want you to attempt to put everything you can think of that belongs inside that circle in that circle.

Sounds simple enough. One might say, “I know my priorities and my stuff.”

Now be careful, don’t write these possessions, characteristics, and attitudes in the place you wish them to be, but instead, where they really are, today.

As you may be beginning to see, this may take a while.

In terms of time this will not be completed in minutes, but in reality, years. As time passes you will realize other items needing to be placed inside and outside of your circle. Keep this circle near you. Put it in your Bible, or your bedside table. As you pray, refer back to it.

I remember a pastor of mine (he was the preacher for the church, but he was indeed my shepherd) commenting about the condition of his yard. I had just noted that his yard looked like it needed a little attention; maybe some water and fertilizer. He chuckled at my innocent question and my blindness.

He responded, “the more attention I give to my yard, the more of me it possesses. The more I water and fertilize, the more I have spent on it. The more it grows the more I need to mow, and then I might even need a better mower. Eventually, I spend more time edging and pampering and then even comparing to others on my block. It begins to possess me, more and more.”

I stood in stunned silence at his wisdom. Inside my head I found myself looking at my own circle; the things that I possessed and the things that had come to possess me. It was an epiphany. All the goals, desires, and aspirations of my life were laid in clear contrast and judgment against what were in other terms, the trappings of this world.

It applies to your house, your car, your memberships, your volunteer organizations, your invitations, your toys (boats, motorcycles, hobbies, recreation), and everything else. I’ve been taught to not use superlatives, but in this instance I will not refrain.

You have complete control of your circle. What gets in. What stays out. Sure circumstances come our way, not of our choosing, but we control our reaction to those circumstances. We control how much “space” they get. We control how they will linger and influence.

Corrie ten Boom’s (Hiding Place ) circle came to include even the lice and fleas inhabiting her cell. She counted the blessing as the reason the guards would not come near to torment them, as they had repeatedly, before.

My circle is often filled with soured discontent. I selfishly obsess about what others have that I don’t. At times I sing verse after verse of “poor, poor, pitiful me”. I whine and fall into angst over mindless earthly desires. And even when I do acquire what I thought I needed, the “high” is only a moment.

Rich Mullins wrote these words in his song Hold Me Jesus,

Surrender don't come natural to me at all

I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want

Than to take what You give that I need

And I've beat my head against so many walls

Now I'm falling down I'm falling on my knees

Will I finally fall to my knees and surrender?

My circle is way to big, or maybe just too encumbered my useless things.

You decide what gets in and what has to go. Nobody controls your circle. Nope, don’t make excuses. Its your circle. Neither God in all his power now Satan in all his deception has ultimate earthly authority over your circle.

What’s in your’s? Family. Spouse. Children. Education. Car (or cars). House. Habits. Preferences and prejudices. With all the veneer peeled away and the contents of your circle clear to everyone, but especially to yourself, ... what’s in your circle.

Has it happened to you yet? Have you said, “I’m gonna need a bigger circle!” Not that the statement makes us happy, its just a reality. I came to a place where I wrestled with the thought of not only being “in this world”, but potentially “of this world”! I have fought this every day! How did this happen! I’ve been fighting against Satan getting a measly foothold in my life and “lo and behold” he built a porch while I was looking the other way. The rat moved in!

In the fight for your life and soul, our Father attempts to influence our circle (not control). He calls to us to allow the indwelling Spirit to influence our circle from the inside out. Satan

But, maybe I need a smaller circle?

Simplify. Simplify!

I get so drawn up into my stuff, ... the stuff that surrounds me in this world, ... stuff I want, ... stuff that looks like fun, ... stuff that seems so stinkin’ innocent!

Andrew Petersen, sings in Land of the Free speaks of a young lady in South America living in poverty without the same temptations.

‘cause I’m just a little jealous of the nothing that you have
unfettered by the wealth of a world that we pretend is gonna last
they say God blessed us with plenty, I say you’re blessed with poverty
‘cause you never stop to wonder whether earth is just a little better than
the Land of the Free

well, I’m weary of the spoils of my ambition
and I’m shackled by the comfort of my couch
I wish I had the courage to deny these of myself
and start to store my treasure in the clouds
... ‘cause this is not my home, I do not belong
where the antelope and the buffalo roam

Words and music by Andrew Peterson.

Look at your circle, again. Its unfinished, but you’ve got at least a start. Honesty should prevail as you ponder the items. You’ll most likely move a few around as the Spirit convicts and affirms. Some will move to the inside as denial turns to confession. Some will move from inside to out, as what we hope for is smashed by the realities of our brokenness. You’ll create a longing for a few of the things outside the circle as they become non-negotiables for inclusion for the circle.

What items are in the circle that need to be outside the circle; the ones that aren’t healthy, helpful, or or in anyway spiritual?

What items outside the circle need to come in? Those things which you know you need, the ones you want and need but haven’t prioritized to a place inside the circle.

As you ponder your circle, how does it look to you. Is it as you had imagined? Is your circle (both inside and out) a depiction of Godly priority and spiritual journey or something else?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULNH9svens0